


Duke of Hazzard

by flashindie



Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy, Real Person Fiction
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-26
Updated: 2013-01-26
Packaged: 2017-11-26 22:50:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/655240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flashindie/pseuds/flashindie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jessica and Patrick and a hotel room somewhere.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Duke of Hazzard

When Joe asked him last month which celebrity he’d fuck if he had the chance, Patrick had said Megan Fox, Rachel Bilson, Rihanna (Patrick has a type and it‘s small, dark and pretty).

The point is, Jessica Simpson wasn’t on the list. 

“Huh,” he says, and he’s like, ridiculously grateful that he still has his hat on, but, hey, that’s kind of it. He eyes the room for a shirt or, y’know, pants, anything.

Jessica just purses her lips a little, like this isn’t surprising at all, and tries to reach for where her bra hangs from the bedroom light. She can’t reach, isn’t that much taller than Patrick really, and she rocks up to her tip-toes, stretches taut and then back to the flats of her feet. She puts a hand on either hip, furrows her brow. 

“Well, fuck,” she says. “Do you think that there’s like, a broom or something I can knock that down with?”

Patrick really wishes he could be more help, but like, he’s still a young guy and Jessica is very, very naked and that part of him that is still all libido is very, very happy. Also, he totally just fucked her.

“Huh,” Patrick says, and Jessica leans back, grins and moves back to sit on the edge of the bed, she crosses her legs, leans forward like a kid and she’s not even bothering to cover up, not like Patrick, who dragged the sheet across his waist the second he broke out of post-coital bliss.

“You don’t need to be shy,” Jessica says, and she grins again, runs a hand through blonde hair that Patrick totally had a fierce grip on like, twenty minutes ago. 

“Really,” she says, and she lets her eyes drop to his crotch through the sheet. “Nothing to be ashamed of _at all_.” She giggles at that and the tone, it’s so fucking _Ashlee_ that Patrick wants to hurl a little.

He just fucked his best friend’s sister-in-law. 

Actually, fuck that, he just fucked _Jessica Simpson_. He wonders if this means he has to marry her now. He hopes not.

He totally has a girlfriend. 

“You alright?” she says, and he glances up at her, where her mascara’s left her eyes dark and her lips are red from…not make-up. The entire room stinks of sex. 

“Fine,” Patrick says, and he leans back, eyes Jessica from messy blonde-hair to ‘Dukes Of Hazzard’ breasts and thinks, _huh_. 

Thinks, _I had that_. 

He rolls his eyes to the ceiling, where her frilly pink bra hangs from the light. He purses his lips, looks back at Jessica and says, “Wanna go again?”

Jessica just grins.


End file.
